Not everybody likes peaches. You are a peach. Now what?

Caring what other people think of you?

Caring what others think – Photo by charlesdeluvio on Unsplash

I have been thinking lately about how many things in the world do not happen because we are too afraid of what others think of us if we do them.

How many times do we end up not starting new adventures because we worry what others say before even attempting it (e.g., changing jobs, changing city or country, changing things that are important to us).

I know it is the reason I haven’t started, or has taken me longer to start, new things.

The fear of what others think of us is the best censorship. It is self-imposed.

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Why coaching helps with weight loss: it is not magic

Because you do not need more food advice

The causal coaching I do addresses the cause of the excess weight – Photo by Ross Findon on Unsplash

If you have a weight loss goal, you may not think that coaching is the help you need.

We tell ourselves we do not know how to lose weight.

We tell ourselves that we need more advice, more information.

If only I had that new piece of information, the latest superfood, the right microbiome, or that eating pattern that solves it all, I would lose all the weight. The truth is you know that is not true.

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Brain’s negative bias (II): best hack ever

Plan for the opposite of you want to achieve and then reverse it

What is missing? Make the brain’s negative bias work for you not against you – Photo by Pierre Bamin on Unsplash

We already know about the brain’s negative bias and how it pops up pretty much everywhere.

Last post was about how to compensate for it to avoid focussing exclusively on what is missing.

These were: start with positives first, and use curiosity instead of judgment.

I hope you have been practising them.

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Brain’s negative bias (I): two important things to remember

Overriding the brain’s in-built negative bias

There are things you can do to override the brain’s negative bias – Photo by Hello I’m Nik on Unsplash

The brain’s negative bias pops up pretty much everywhere.

One of the places where this bias is unhelpful is when you self-evaluate something you are doing (e.g., a new goal, a new habit you are introducing).

I am a huge fan of self-assessments. I do it all the time. I evaluate everything. It tells me if I am moving in the right direction and if not, how to self-correct.

There are two important things to remember when you self-evaluate that will limit the effect of the brain’s negative bias.

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How to stop wanting sugar

From saying no to sugar to not wanting it, and what has 100 to do with it

It is not about saying no to sugar, which you need to do. It is about knowing you will want it but will say no – Photo by Wouter Supardi Salari on Unsplash

When will I stop wanting sugar? Or is it savoury for you?

Never?

If you like or have liked sugar, wanting to eat it is unlikely to magically vanish.

Sugar creates a biological reaction in your brain. Your brain will want more and is incredibly creative getting you to give it to it.

“You deserve it”

“You’ve been so good”

“One piece will not matter”

“Nobody will know” (like the only person that matters in all of this, you, will not notice 😊).

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What if feeling hungry, feeling uncomfortable, is the answer?

We avoid feeling hungry because it feels uncomfortable.

Feeling uncomfortable, feeling hungry

Feeling discomfort is hard.

We avoid it at all costs.

At its essence, it is an instinctive reaction.  If we feel the heat of the fire, we instinctively remove our hand. This is our brain and the nervous system working as we want them to. To protect our body from physical harm.

What happens when the danger is perceived rather than real? Public speaking? Asking for a promotion?

Our physical reaction is very similar. It is equally dramatic. It feels like you could die. The brain thinks the danger is real and creates what it thinks it is an appropriate reaction.

Except, we are only speaking. In front of people, yes, but only speaking.

What do we do? It feels so bad that we prefer to avoid doing the thing we know it could help us, the thing we want to do. Just to avoid experiencing that physical reaction, that negative emotion.

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Drinking and weight, one change at a time

For faster results, line-up changes, do not attempt them all at once

One at a time, stop overeating and then decide if you also want to stop drinking, or vice versa – Photo by iorni.com on Unsplash

I suggest you do not attempt all behavioural changes, drinking and weight, at once and here is why.

Alcohol contributes to the energy intake.

If you stop or decrease the amount of alochol you drink it will help you to lose weight.

However, if you decide to decrease alcohol in order to lose weight you might be setting yourself for a more difficult journey than necessary.

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Counting calories: not useful, you do not need it

It is complicated and it stops you from listening to your body

Counting calories gives you and exact number but that is unlikely to be true and it stops you from listening to your body. Photo by Sumudu Mohottige on Unsplash

If counting calories works for you (i.e. it helps you to maintain the weight you want to have) and you are committed to continue doing it long-term, by all means, count calories.

This actually applies to everything I recommend or not in this blog. If you are doing something different that works for you, it is healthy and feasible long-term, just keep doing that.

For those of you who count calories but are not seeing the result you want, I suggest you stop.

This is why.

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