Caring what other people think of you?
Caring what others think – Photo by charlesdeluvio on Unsplash
I have been thinking lately about how many things in the world do not happen because we are too afraid of what others think of us if we do them.
How many times do we end up not starting new adventures because we worry what others say before even attempting it (e.g., changing jobs, changing city or country, changing things that are important to us).
I know it is the reason I haven’t started, or has taken me longer to start, new things.
The fear of what others think of us is the best censorship. It is self-imposed.
Continue reading “Not everybody likes peaches. You are a peach. Now what?”
Because you do not need more food advice
The causal coaching I do addresses the cause of the excess weight – Photo by Ross Findon on Unsplash
If you have a weight loss goal, you may not think that coaching is the help you need.
We tell ourselves we do not know how to lose weight.
We tell ourselves that we need more advice, more information.
If only I had that new piece of information, the latest superfood, the right microbiome, or that eating pattern that solves it all, I would lose all the weight. The truth is you know that is
not true. Continue reading “Why coaching helps with weight loss: it is not magic”
For real. This is happening.
Processing disappointment – Photo by Eric Ward on Unsplash
Processing disappointment is not easy.
I have had a big disappointment this week.
Something I wanted, badly, will not happen.
Continue reading “How to process disappointment: First, feel the negative emotions.”
Plan for the opposite of you want to achieve and then reverse it
What is missing? Make the brain’s negative bias work for you not against you – Photo by Pierre Bamin on Unsplash
We already know about the brain’s negative bias and how it pops up pretty much everywhere.
Last post was about how to compensate for it to avoid focussing exclusively on what is missing.
These were: start with positives first, and use curiosity instead of judgment.
I hope you have been practising them.
Continue reading “Brain’s negative bias (II): best hack ever”
Overriding the brain’s in-built negative bias
There are things you can do to override the brain’s negative bias – Photo by Hello I’m Nik on Unsplash
The brain’s negative bias pops up pretty much everywhere.
One of the places where this bias is unhelpful is when you self-evaluate something you are doing (e.g., a new goal, a new habit you are introducing).
I am a huge fan of self-assessments. I do it all the time. I evaluate everything. It tells me if I am moving in the right direction and if not, how to self-correct.
There are two important things to remember when you self-evaluate that will limit the effect of the brain’s negative bias.
Continue reading “Brain’s negative bias (I): two important things to remember”
What if you knew?
What if instead of ‘I don’t know’, you chose to knew?
This coming week, count how many times you tell yourself ‘I don’t know’ something, you do not have the answer.
You will be surprised how often this happens.
We often tell ourselves ’I don’t know’.
We prefer to ask others than to ask ourselves.
Continue reading “How Often Do You Say, ‘I Don’t Know’?”
From saying no to sugar to not wanting it, and what has 100 to do with it
It is not about saying no to sugar, which you need to do. It is about knowing you will want it but will say no – Photo by Wouter Supardi Salari on Unsplash
When will I stop wanting sugar? Or is it savoury for you?
If you like or have liked sugar, wanting to eat it is unlikely to magically vanish.
Sugar creates a biological reaction in your brain. Your brain will want more and is incredibly creative getting you to give it to it.
“You deserve it”
“You’ve been so good”
“One piece will not matter”
“Nobody will know” (like the only person that matters in all of this, you, will not notice 😊).
Continue reading “How to stop wanting sugar”
We avoid feeling hungry because it feels uncomfortable.
Feeling uncomfortable, feeling hungry
Feeling discomfort is hard.
We avoid it at all costs.
At its essence, it is an instinctive reaction. If we feel the heat of the fire, we instinctively remove our hand. This is our brain and the nervous system working as we want them to. To protect our body from physical harm.
What happens when the danger is perceived rather than real? Public speaking? Asking for a promotion?
Our physical reaction is very similar. It is equally dramatic. It feels like you could die. The brain thinks the danger is real and creates what it thinks it is an appropriate reaction.
Except, we are only speaking. In front of people, yes, but only speaking.
What do we do? It feels so bad that we prefer to avoid doing the thing we know it could help us, the thing we want to do. Just to avoid experiencing that physical reaction, that negative emotion.
Continue reading “What if feeling hungry, feeling uncomfortable, is the answer?”
For faster results, line-up changes, do not attempt them all at once
One at a time, stop overeating and then decide if you also want to stop drinking, or vice versa – Photo by iorni.com on Unsplash
I suggest you do not attempt all behavioural changes, drinking and weight, at once and here is why.
Alcohol contributes to the energy intake.
If you stop or decrease the amount of alochol you drink it will help you to lose weight.
However, if you decide to decrease alcohol in order to lose weight you might be setting yourself for a more difficult journey than necessary.
Continue reading “Drinking and weight, one change at a time”